3 Nephites

3 Nephites

Mormon Zodiac 3 Nephites Chuck Norris
The 3 Nephites as hard-ass, Chuck Norris looking dudes. They are portrayed like The Village People as a nod to the “career” attribute of their zodiac sign. For whatever reason, Nephites are always wearing headbands in pictures depicting them. Take a good look at the cowboy in the image and notice how great that headband is — it definitely screams “Nephite”. In your ear. Painfully.

Attribute Emphasis: Career

“3Nees” like to live and plan for the long term. They’re masters of their vocations and are known for getting shit done. They’re always working on ways to get better at what they do, and are usually either climbing the corporate ladder or inventing their own ladder to outdo themselves. Career, business, and strategic optimization “turn them on” — in fact, that is hot bedroom talk for 3Nees.

They also work well in group projects, especially teams of three. They could literally work until the cows come home, or the second coming of Jesus — whichever comes first.*

3Nees tend to live in the future and miss out on the here and now. They need to drop their hard-ass attitude and spend time with the ones they love. Smell the roses, enjoy a sandwich, and have a coffee Diet Coke.

Strengths:

3Nees are cooperative, organized, patient, charitable, and live amazingly long lives.

Weaknesses:

3Nees are restless and obsessed with work. They are addicted to fast food, sugar, and buying worthless shit as a form of therapy.

Zodiac Dates: August 6th – September 20th

A good time of year to “get to work”. This is the time of year when school starts up and kids are all getting back into their school work, learning and training for their careers. It’s also the time of year that people are finished with vacations and getting back into the grind of their work.

Day of the Week: Monday

Monday is the day you start a new job. It’s also the day to jump back into work (or school) after the weekend. If you’re a 3Nee, this is your luckiest day of the week. What better day to schedule a meeting at work? What better day to start that group project at school? 3Nees don’t get a “case of the Mondays” —  they live for Mondays, and kick them in the ass every week! Mondays get a case of the “3 Nephites”!

If This is Your Zodiac Sign

If you are a 3Nee, you probably already know that you’re damn good at your work, but remember that there’s always room for improvement. Don’t limit yourself to the field  you’re currently in if it’s not fulfilling you — try a variety of things you haven’t thought to try. Take on a hobby or side business. Try spending some extra time with your friends and family. There’s an old mantra “Work hard, play hard”, but I’ll help you with another one: “Learn to RELAX, dammit!”

Reference in Mormonism:

* Jesus granted 3 Nephites their wish to live until his second coming. (3 Nephi 28:30-31)

Numerous folklore stories over the years that have become a type of Mormon urban legend: “All of a sudden, there were these 3 muscular dudes… blah blah, saved the day, and then they were gone.”

Read More

Are You Saying Chuck Norris is Mormon? 3 Nephites: Introducing the Mormon Zodiac Signs (Part 1 of 8)